Keep Control, Go On
by BadBoysAreBest
Summary: After Lily encounters Remus in a compromising situation, she can't stop thinking about him. He's left to wonder why she's been acting so strange around him.
1. Sail with me into the dark

**Disclaimer:** I'm not JKR. I'm just a New Yorker having fun filling in the blanks of this amazing ship.  
**Rated:** M for naughty school time fun.  
**Summary:** Story is set in 1975, during the Marauders' 6th year. Remus & Lily are Prefects for their house.

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_'Maybe I'm a different breed. Maybe I'm not listening. Sail with me into the dark.'  
_

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Lily looked around the hall wondering if she'd mistaken the time and place. Had she possibly recorded it wrong on her calendar? It felt as if she'd been standing in the same spot forever and there was still no sign of Remus.

She must have gotten it wrong; she was _convinced_ by the hand on her watch. Usually her fellow prefect was punctual - more so than her at times - so it'd be odd for him to be running this late. Her brow furrowed while remembering the last time he'd been late to meet up with her. The incident had been over a month ago. She shook her head hoping that he hadn't gotten mixed up with _those_ friends of his. Remus could've been in trouble or worse, he could be stuck in detention. She never quite understood why he'd been chosen to serve as a prefect with her while everyone at Hogwarts knew the mischief his friends were about. If it weren't for her duties with Remus, then she'd less likely have to keep 'interrupting' James and Sirius as they hexed others.

As the minutes ticked by Lily wondered if she should go forward with their prefect duties so she could at last continue with her Saturday. Their orders were simple this weekend. All they had to do was make sure that first and second-years were staying inside since the winter weather had taken a turn for the worst. Professor McGonagall didn't want to deal with any cases of frozen students being sent to Madam Pomfrey, as explained in her weekly tasks on the notice board.

Unable to handle being idle any longer, Lily decided to stroll the halls and if she were to run into Remus, then _great_, but otherwise she'd be taking care of her side of duties.

It had been a surprisingly quiet day she noted while walking. Very few students were lingering about and any that she had encountered had quickly passed her on their way to somewhere else. It was the weather making everyone lethargic, she yawned and continued patrolling wishing she'd brought a mug of something warm. In the distance a few lights flickered across the lawn, so Lily had decided to trek through the snow to the opposite classrooms in hopes of catching some action.

Lily was disappointed that by the time she made it over to the other side, the journey had taken a good 15 minutes, that she didn't find any peculiar activity. Lily yawned again and thought of how much she wanted dinner to be announced. At least the shuffling of students would give her something to do. Basically, she would have given anything to be anywhere other than empty hall after empty hall.

In the vast silence of the frigid day, a scratching noise caused Lily to jump slightly in place and her hand grasped her wand inside her robes out of habit. She chided herself for being so childish. _Isn't this what she had wanted? To actually do something?_ Her eyes narrowed while determining where the alarming sound was coming from as her mind raced through the possibilities. At the next sound, Lily didn't jump but instead rolled her eyes realizing it sounded like a chair scraping across a tiled floor.

_Wait. A chair?_ Lily was instantly alert at once, realizing it was possible that someone could be using a classroom illegally or perhaps she'd run into a professor. No matter the situation, Lily knew that it was under her jurisdiction to check it out.

One by one Lily passed the various doors and inspected for any sounds or lights. It wouldn't be good for a prefect to be caught in an empty classroom unless they had an explicit reason to be there in the first place. At the sound of a crash, she quickly turned and immediately noticed that the door behind her appeared to be cracked open, a bit of light was seeping into the hall. She rushed over to the door, but froze on sight instead of rushing in.

She was speechless as her eyes went wide at what she could see in the limited light. My God were the only words repeating in her mind.

A male student that appeared disheveled but otherwise dressed swiftly kicked a chair to the ground. He was rushing a brunette girl in his arms across the classroom to pin her against the blackboard. Lily heard his partner groan as her body roughly backed up against the unforgiving surface. Lily found her own breathing exceedingly loud, and quickly clamped her mouth with her hand yet continued to watch.

The brunette's sounds soon muffled into a moan as the male nuzzled down her open buttoned-down shirt. The boy had to be doing something right considering the response he was getting from his partner. Lily watched as he took a bite of shoulder then dragged his lips up to her neck. The girl cried loudly, so loudly in fact that she echoed in the empty classroom. At this point Lily should have interrupted the intimate scene or at the very least walked away from the cracked doorway. For if they were to simply turn in her direction, they would easily spot her at an easy angle.

Instead she remained in place, mesmerized as the girl cried out in pleasure again as she trembled in his arms. Lily's imagination took flight thinking of what the girl must be feeling. It had to be _ecstasy_, surely that's why boys are obsessed with talking about the deed. She thought of the sweat that must of have been running down their chests although she could not possibly see any. She wondered if her muscles were sore watching him grip her by the elbows then up to the shoulders. She vaguely compared the girl's body to a piece of meat. Her thoughts continued on that path thinking what it would be liked to be _used_ for pleasure. Just raw pleasure, because that wasn't love, Lily rationalized feeling warm all of the sudden.

A rough growl emitted from his lips as he knocked her harder into the blackboard while thrusting. The brunette's head bumped once, twice and a third time with a thumping noise before bobbing in a lull. Her skirt was caught up around her waist and she didn't appear to be wearing socks at all. While her fanny wasn't exposed, her legs seemingly wrapped higher and higher up the boy's waist. Lily noted that his partner had unnaturally long legs; she deduced that could only belong to a 7th year or a troll.

The girl's head bobbed in sync to his thrusts, her back arched and her hands clenched his biceps as if she were fighting for her life. Lily imagined the nail imprints that had to be left on his skin. The boy seemed unfazed by her grip, instead it seemed to fuel him to take her faster with an unrelenting force. Lily still hadn't seen the boy's face which was now resting in the crook of the girl's neck. Lily knew from her limited knowledge knew that her lusty whimpering as she convulsed had nothing to do with pain. Somehow it felt as if Lily was being stimulated just by being there had made her weak, as if she might faint for the first time in her young life.

Just as Lily thought she'd seen everything, he roughly disentangled much to her protest to quickly flip her around so her back was facing him. She caught a glimpse of the girl's spilling breasts in the motion.

"Remus!" The female student yelled in frustration, turning her head to look back at him.

_Remus?_ Lily's mind shouted at her in disbelief. Surely she was mistaken. She had to be mistaken. She remained in place. _How was she not moving?_

"Just a sec." The male in question replied gruffly in a very un-Remus voice. He hastily snuck his hand under her skirt while his other pressed firmly against her back. Lily stumbled backward in a true awkward fashion after getting a good look at his face.

It was Remus. No denying that, no misunderstanding, it was him.

Lily briskly moved away from the classroom. She was nearly sprinting in absolute horror. She may have known Remus' face, but after that rough display she had felt as if she hardly knew him. Suddenly every conversation that she had ever shared with him was replaying in her head as she searched for justification of his actions. Nearly out of breath, she planted herself on a bench, blissfully a good distance away from the scene.

She felt appalled at her own chagrin at watching for so long without his knowing. _Have people ever watched while knowing..._ She shook her head at that train of thinking. _Yes, that was guilt that she felt building within her._ A part of her, just a small part of course, felt betrayed. She knew that was irrational. _How could it not be?_ She certainly had no claim over Remus. They were friends and odd friends at that given his social decisions. She scoffed thinking about him sitting - always quiet and oh so cool - on his side of the table in the Great Hall.

Why Lily had never shown any remote interest in him nor him in her. He could snog, shag, whatever with whoever he wanted._ Did he not find her fit?_ At that last thought, Lily buried her face in hands at her stupidity. _What did it matter if Remus found her fit or not?_ No, what actually mattered was that Remus ditched his duties without giving her any notice. She was furious! _How dare he!_ How dare he do that to her, she was outraged. Her anger had overtaken her thinking of Remus' sheer irresponsibility and that emotion was far easier to channel.

Lily's thoughts were so loud that she hadn't notice the pillock himself in the flesh standing directly in front of her bench.

"Lily, you alright?" Remus asked in concern, closing the distance even more so between their bodies. His sodding prefect badge was shining down at her which he was barely fit to wear.

"You're late." She spat in thinly veiled anger.

"Yeah. Sorry." He replied cooly, seemingly fascinated by unrolling the cuffs of his shirt. She noted that he wasn't even wearing robes.

"I was just about to leave." Lily continued, her eyes narrowed seeing a scratch on his forearm. She absently noted that he didn't have any other love bites on him. She had imagined more.

"If you want to go, that's fine. I can make up the time for myself." He offered softly in earnest, nodding at her.

That time she actually she received a look of remorse on his face, but just for a second. He simply appeared too cool, too Remus, given what she just witnessed. He baffled her to say the least. Unable to form a witty response in return, she remarked something about a potion and quickly took off in the opposite direction than of their tower. She wouldn't be able to deal with running into him again on the same day. Not after _that_ performance! The irony of situation was that he was probably wondering what got her knickers in a knot.

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_**A/N:** My first HP story. I'm a New Yorker, not British, so apologies in advance for any wording issues. I'm venturing over from TVD where I write mostly just Damon/Elena stories. **~ Ahem:** Remus isn't actually a "sexgod", he just gets frisky closer to certain times of the month. He's experienced in comparison to Lily. This isn't a Remus/OC story. This is gonna be a sexy multi-chap, but ultimately a bit of a sad story since we know who Lily ends up with. Be Good & Review!_

_If FF were to delete this fic, you can PM to get the alternative URL. I'm contemplating uploading an XXX version somewhere else since FF is incredibly particular about ratings in the HP fandom._

_Twitter/LiveJournal: BadBoysAreBest_

_Lyrics: Sail by AWOLNation_


	2. You can sin or spend the night all alone

_'You laugh at every word trying hard to be cute. I almost feel sorry for what I'm going to do.'_

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Lily looked down at her shoes in dread of attending Transfiguration, considering she sat directly next to Remus in that class. Professor McGonagall had probably thought it looked smart to put her two Prefects right at the front together, but it was blatantly obvious that she did it to break up the _so-called_ Marauders since they all shared the class together. _Yep._ All four of them had managed to score high O.W.L.S to continue at the N.E.W.T level. Lily sighed in distaste; the troublemakers barely studied at all for the complex class, yet always managed to know every answer when they were called upon.

In fact at times Sirius and James had the audacity to act as if the professor had interrupted _their_ conversation instead of the other way around. Clearly unable to continue issuing detentions to her 'best' students, the professor had instead instigated a seating chart.

Talk of the devils themselves, Lily thought as she walked in between Sirius and Remus to get through the door. Those two usually lingered outside the classroom, hanging until the very minute, while James and Peter regularly showed up a few minutes late. _Not that she had noticed anything._ Lily sighed as she took her seat up front and began to read what was written on the blackboard.

"Sorry about Saturday, again. All right?" Remus said as he took his seat once the professor entered.

"It's fine." Lily lied curtly, not in the mood to discuss how he ditched her just to shag a brunette bint.

Before Remus had the chance to reply, Professor McGonagall informed the class that last Friday's test had been graded and that she'd be handing them back to them. In the meantime, the students were required to study the charts located on page 297 of _A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration_.

Once McGonagall passed their table, Lily gave a puff in anguish realizing that she'd inked only a little over 80% of the questions correct. To her left side, Remus remained stoic in reaction to an almost perfect score with the exception of the last question _(a trick answer, obviously)_ and the few bonus questions that he hadn't even bothered to fill out on the back.

As if on cue, Remus declared in wonder. "There were questions on the back?" His brows furrowed at his own carelessness.

Lily shot him an incredulous look before handing over her test, allowing him to take notes of the correct answers. She delicately reached across the table, snagging his own parchment without bothering to ask because it's not like he'd care.

Taking a gander at his messy, but obviously brilliant scrawls, Lily paled while reading his answers. Sure they had shared many of the _correct_ answers, but based on his replies, Remus had a master understanding of the topics assigned in the previous week. His answers were both lengthy yet rational. Lily's disbelief only heightened as she read through the answers that she had answered incorrectly.

"Your formula for Tentaclifors is wrong." Remus said reading the front facing side of her parchment. "I am willing to wager that your combination would have turned your enemy's head into an extended ear." He scratched his own ear while thinking. "Nice one, but unfortunately for you, not a tentacle as McGonagall asked."

"Yes. I understand that now." Lily replied in a cordial tone, looking up at him and took in the state of his appearance. He looked weak compared to when she'd seen him last. Based on the dark circles under his eyes, she wondered if he had slept at all. But then thinking about Remus in bed led her thoughts in a direction she had much preferred to forget. It was of no use of course as she began to imagine him shagging the brunette _all_ weekend. _What if he had snuck the brunette into the guys' dormitories? _She could see him gripping the post of his four-poster bed as he thrust...

"Lily, eh hello, are you listening to me?" Remus asked in fake annoyance. She spotted an edge of concern in his eyes.

Apparently he'd been explaining the benefits of using the Densaugeo spell while she'd been lost in his sheets. _Brilliant_, she muttered; actually saying the word aloud because Remus replied with a smirk as if she'd been complimenting him. The smartass, she commented bitterly then snagged her test right out of his hands. She instantly returned to concentrating on her textbook. It was exactly these type of distractions that she didn't want to deal with.

"Twat." She muttered, which made Remus give her a one over.

"Why Lily I didn't even know that you knew _that_ word." He teased with a light scoff under his breath.

_She wanted to kick him! She should have kicked him!_

After class Remus' gang of friends were waiting just outside the door for him and Lily rushed right past them.

Never daring to not pester her, James whispered in her ear saying she looked like a dish in her ear. Lily's tolerance for their behavior just went straight off. She actually shoved James' book out of his hands when she tore away from him.

"What is with her?" He remarked grabbing his book off the ground.

"Fuck if I know." Remus replied with a shrug since he'd been right behind of her.

"Time of the month?" Sirius joked brashly, giving a pat on James' back.

Lily stomped off quickly until she could no longer hear their collective heckling.

She hadn't heard Remus' reply to the punchline. "No, maybe not, but mine is coming up." Causing his mates to roar once more, this time louder. "Wicked!" Remus replied sarcastically as they'll all pushed off to the Great Hall.

.

.

.

"Can you believe him? Just snogging me like that... in the middle of... where even Professor Flitwick could see!" Marlene, Lily's best friend, cried out in horror during dinner.

Lily had only been paying mild attention to the conversation since it was just more on Marlene's boyfriend Atherton, a 6th year in Slytherin. Their competitive nature in Defense Against The Dark Arts had brought them together. Since Marlene spent most of her time at his side, she felt it necessary to provide _every_ detail about their relationship during meals. Lily perceived her intentions as guilt since they had drifted apart during the year.

"Does it matter?" Lily replied and jabbed her baked potato with her fork. "You've been with him forever." She added.

Marlene snapped her head so fast that her blonde locks nearly hit Lily in the face. "You say that like I would marry the bloke."

"You don't want to marry him?" Lily questioned with a raised brow.

"We are still in our youth." She replied softly with a pessimistic expression. "Things can change. They will change." Marlene stopped talking abruptly and Lily didn't have anything to follow up with.

Lily's eyes narrowed in recognition as a familiar face, rather body, strolled down the aisle in the direction of where the Marauders sat at the end of their table.

_Dahlia Dodderidge_. That was the girl Remus had been shagging on Saturday, possibly all weekend based on his listless appearance.

Dahlia was a 7th year in Hufflepuff. Girls usually left the bathroom when she entered, if that was any indiction of her nature. She loved talking about her great-great-whatever, Daisy, the builder and landlady of the Leaky Cauldron.

Lily thought she'd understand Remus better after learning the identity of his intimate partner, but this new knowledge simply confused her. He was shagging a well-known, older student? How had that come about?

"Ugh. Dahlia." Marlene scoffed, noticing the direction of Lily's stare.

Lily didn't comment.

"I'm sure James wouldn't go for a girl like that." Marlene continued, motioning her head in assertion.

"James?" Lily asked confused and wrinkled her nose at the mention of the pest.

"You know, pure-blood, is all." Marlene continued matter-of-factly. "He's old fashioned. At least his parents are."

"A girl like what?" Lily turned in horror and blinked to prevent her eyes from watering. Surely her best friend wasn't insinuating that James had issues with blood purity. He was a lot of things, but he wasn't a bigot.

"Trouble." Marlene explained. "Mmm Hmm. She's gone with nearly her whole house."

"And now she's moving in on ours." Lily said glaring in the distance as Dahlia slid her hand into Remus' messy hair.

"Maybe." Marlene remarked with a frown. Guess she hadn't considered that an option.

Just then Remus moved away from Dahlia with a look of annoyance.

"Or maybe not." Lily added.

Remus then reached into Dahlia's pristine hair, but instead of doing it lovingly as she had, he did it in a patronizing way. Dahlia looked mortified by his action, especially in front of his friends, and instantly stormed off causing all of the guys to yell at her in childish amusement.

"Aww, I think she wants a pet." Sirius said with a mocking pout on his face.

"Except our boy here isn't house-broken." James smirked at his own humor.

"Ha. Ha." Remus remarked dryly. "Though I don't think Padfoot will ever be."

"So Moony?" Peter questioned, wondering why he'd dare to send a bird off like _that_. Dahlia was a looker. He was smitten.

"She just wants it..." Remus replied bored with a wave of his hand. "All the time." He waved again.

His comment caused Sirius to let out a barking laughing while Peter gulped in anticipation, hoping to hear the rest of Remus' rendezvous.

"So she fancies your willy." James' teased, wiggling his eyebrows for effect. "All the time."

Remus hummed for a second then laughed a bit, smiling at his friends. "Yes, that's precisely the problem. But my _willy_ doesn't belong to her!"

Lily continued to study the boys as they all looked throughly amused with themselves. It made her shudder. _Had she truly not seen this the entire year?_ That Remus was just as cocky as Sirius and James. She felt sodding blind all of the sudden. She was ashamed at her own judgement skills. She didn't want to become one of those girls that could be easily swindled.

"Do you think she would be ok with banging by appointment only?" Peter asked in a neutral tone.

"Yes, that is ace! " Sirius replied in conniving wonder. "You'll ink her into your calendar every month." James and Remus looked at each other unsure if he was kidding. Peter simply shrugged in agreement of his idea.

Remus burst into laughter and then began to act out a skit of how exactly _that_ conversation would work out between Dahlia and him.

Lily was just amazed watching Remus' animated form. Obviously, she couldn't hear the boys, so she had no idea what Remus was doing at the moment. He looked barmy.

"Then I will see you at the end of every month, Mr Lupin?" Remus remarked in a girly voice with two hands on his face, continuing the skit for them.

_Sex_, Lily thought. They were all into sex. Well, of course they were. They were teenage boys. Though she couldn't imagine Peter's lumpy form having sex. Suddenly, she lost the rest of her appetite and excused herself, feigning sleepiness.

Marlene was left in amazement over her best friend's behavior. So it was true, Lily had a crush on James, but she'd hid it well.

"Brilliant." Marlene muttered and began planning double walks to Hogsmeade.

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_**How am I doing? Be good & review!**  
_

**_Credits:_ **_Spell Names from LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7:Tentaclifors (Elongates head into a tentacle); __Densaugeo (Causes teeth to grow)_. _Daisy Dodderidge info from the HP Lexicon._

_Lyrics: Me vs. Madonna Vs. Elvis by Brand New_


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